Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com The Dark Window: November 2004

Prepare to be horrified...

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Prepare to be doubly horrified

Well dear friends, it has now come to this. Pete M. is away and who should show up but us, Sadly, No! If there ever was a time when the name of our blog was a fitting response, that time is now. In order to help you deal with this temporary transition, we have prepared a Questions & Answers post below -- a comedic device invented by us over the weekend and used for the first time ever here.

Q: Dear Sadly: While I kind of tolerate your "humour" over at your blog, the last thing I need when I visit The Dark Window is more of that crap and less of Pete M. goodness. Aren't you in effect replacing our diet of Alpo Supreme with drinking out of the toilet by posting here?

A: Questions such as these -- they're reminders to all Americans that they need to watch what they say, watch what they do. This is not a time for remarks like that; there never is.

Q: Well, as long as you're here, do you know what has become of Amber Pawlik?
A: Yes. Amber has decided not to write anymore unless she gets paid for it. Unsurprisingly, this means she isn't writing anymore.

Q: Have you offered to pay her with gratuitous insults and childish remarks about her appearance?
A: Our accountants have told us our account is overdrawn.

Q: So why am I reading this blog?
A: Because it's on the internet!

Q: Is is true that Carey Roberts is 134 years old?
A: No. That picture was taken two years ago. .

Q: Is Roberts insane?
A: Looks that way to us:

According to socialist-feminist theory, a vast anti-female conspiracy known as the "patriarchy" controls the social order. When you ask a feminist to explain that mind-boggling statement, she invariably points to the fact that the great majority of elected officials are male. And according to the Marxist analysis, those callous male patriarchs look out only for their own kind, leaving women neglected and downtrodden.


Q: What does chivalry mean according to Roberts?
A: It means that men should support the children they father, and neither beat nor sexually harass women.

Q: You're joking, right?
A: Sadly, No!

Q: Are you going to introduce us to new wingnuts while you're here, or are you just going to ridicule whatever crap you find on Renew America or WorldNetDaily.
A: That depends -- are you familiar with Justin Darr or Judson Cox?

Q: Never mind -- looks like we know the answer.
A: You're welcome.
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Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Thank You

I would like to take a moment to offer my sincere gratitude to everybody who sent such lovely thoughts, condolences, and encouragement during the last few days. I was very touched by all the warm wishes and kind sentiments. Everything you wrote and said made things a little easier and a little less lonely.

And now for a bit of good news. After my friend Sunny's memorial celebration this evening, I'm going to be leaving town for a few days. What's the good news there, you ask? Well, the good news is that this blog will probably become funnier while I'm gone than it's ever been before.

You see, the self-proclaimed third-funniest person on the internet may (or may not) stop by to keep you entertained in my absence (Note my relative position on his list). So keep checking back if you want to howl with derisive laughter at one of the legendary humorists of Canadian descent living in central Germany our time.

Again, thank you for all the encouragement and warm thoughts. And thank you for sharing the memory and magic of my dear friend. I'll see you next week.

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Friday, November 19, 2004

Sunny

My friend Sunny Perkins died this week from severe injuries sustained in an automobile accident far too horrible for me to describe. She was an artist. She was a dancer. She was unbelievably beautiful. She was warm and she was caring and she gave without asking anything in return. She was 27 years old.

I have no idea how to offer any sort of appropriate tribute. Anything I might include would be far outweighed by what I forgot to mention and that thought makes me want to stop right here.

But let me show you a photograph.



That was taken the night I met Sunny. Cagney and Harlow have nothing on us, we said as we laughed. We always laughed. And then as that crazy party raged all around us, we somehow found a quiet corner and Sunny mentioned Saul Bass (who mentions Saul Bass?) and I said, Saul Bass? Are you kidding me? and we knew right then that we shared a glorious dark bond and a warm, kindred spirit.

I find myself hating words at this moment. Words (especially my words) cannot begin to convey the life and fire and magic of this luminous girl. At a time when words are all I have, words have become meaningless.

I'm sitting here at my desk trying to hold on to some piece of you, Sunny, but you're disappearing and I'm terrified because of it. I feel like I'm trying to hold water in my hands. No matter how hard I try, it slips through my grasp, and nothing I can do or say or even write will change this.

So since I have no words, I'll simply offer a memory.

It's one of those magical drizzly winter evenings we only have in San Francisco. You know the kind. We're sitting at the bar in a nearly empty 500 Club drinking Mandarin and Sodas and you decide we need to play a game of pinball. Sure, I say, but you're going to lose. You laugh and punch me in the arm (a little too hard, I might add) and we amble over to the machine. I put a couple of quarters in and you kiss me on the cheek but I'm already focusing on the game with the competitive ferocity of a 6 year-old. And we play and we play and we tell each other dumb stories and we listen to endless songs by the Cure and the Smiths and every so often we look out through the open door and see the lights glowing softly outside in the real world and realize there's no place we need to be, no place we need to go, and we're simply here and we're happy and it's now. And then we look at each other and we giggle like little kids and you jab my flipper so I'll miss the ball and by the time we've finished laughing we can't figure out who won anyway.

Farewell, Sunny. I love you. I always loved you. I'm sorry I never told you those kinds of things while you were here.

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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Sharing Christ's Love Against The Homos

When we first began the Dark Window back in May, we wrote a few pieces about one of our all-time favorite Wing Nuts: Jack Chick. Unfortunately, for reasons that were explained at the time, we were forced to stop linking to his delightful comics (something which still causes us great sadness). Maybe you know the ones we're talking about. The comics with devils running around saying "Haw Haw" and people getting consigned to the fires of hell on a nearly page-by-page basis.

In spite of our inability to link to his cartoons, we still check in on his website regularly (even if we don't write about him) because, well, there's nobody even remotely like Jack. If you're curious, make sure you check out some of his legendary tracts. We especially recommend "Big Daddy," "Angels," "Dark Dungeons," and "The Tycoon."

As we were enjoying Jack's latest newsletter, we came across a rather extraordinary article. It seems that a group of street witnessers was jailed in Philadelphia for sharing God's love with homosexuals.

Hate speech laws are gaining momentum but a test case is in court in Philadelphia. Eleven members of a street witnessing team from Repent America were arrested and jailed for 21 hours. The team was attempting to witness at a homosexual "Outfest" on public property.

Repent America. That name rang a bell and then I remembered why. They made a big scene here in San Francisco when the gay marriages were taking place. They forced their way into the courthouse and tried to save marriage by preventing anybody there from getting married. Maybe you've seen some of the Christ-like photos:







I'm just going to be honest with you here. If a man wears a fanny pack in public, he should be arrested simply on principle.

So what happened when our friends took their show to Philadelphia? Something we're having a very hard time understanding. Listen:

The original charges read to them included three felonies and five misdemeanors. Felonies were for "ethnic intimidation," "criminal conspiracy," and "possession of instruments of crime." Misdemeanors included "riot," "failure to disperse," and "disorderly conduct." If convicted as charged, they could face up to 47 years in prison. One member of the team, a 67-year-old woman is still in custody at this writing on a previous warrant in connection with an abortion clinic protest 9 years ago, that she had been told was cleared.

Ethnic Intimidation. I just want you to think about that one for a moment.

Say hi to the Red State Jesus, ladies and gentlemen. As long as you're white, that is.

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Tuesday, November 09, 2004

World Net Daily Explains Sex

Sex is bad.

That's pretty much all you need to know if you're going to be a good values-driven Right Wing Nut.

Fortunately, World Net Daily, one of the largest conservative "news" organizations on the Internet, is all over this "sex" thing today with a couple of helpful articles talking about how more people are having sex than ever before and that this is all the fault of one certain Democrat.

First off, we have Joseph Farah, that lovely paragon of Christian charity and love, the editor-in-chief of World Net Daily, explaining to us that Democrats who claim to be Christians are lying. Here's how he responds to a question Patricia Ireland, former president of NOW, recently asked:

She asked during a debate on the Fox News Channel: "If ... lesbian and gay rights issues were such a serious kind of value, a core value, why did Jesus never talk about them?"

Of course, the answer is that homosexuals have no special rights that distinguish what they do and who they are. They have only the same rights the rest of humanity has. The question should be more appropriately asked of people like Ireland, who pretend to be Christians, while asserting values that are contrary to the Christian faith and the Judeo-Christian tradition.


So we now have a new standard in matters of faith. If Joe says you aren't a Christian, then you damn well aren't a Christian.


God's Right Hand Man

Not surprisingly, Farah decides to use his power on more than simply Patricia.

My point is that people like Patricia Ireland, John Kerry and Hillary Clinton like to pretend they are operating under the same value system that led to Western Civilization, the same value system that resulted in the founding of America, the same value system that was taught by Jesus and the Hebrew prophets before Him.

They are not.


And then our militaristic friend goes on to say something fairly extraordinary:

It doesn't matter to them what Jesus taught. But they know it still matters to enough Americans. And if enough Americans see through their charade, then they can't win elections. And if they can't win elections, they can't impose their different morality on you.

Fortunately, Farah cares about all the things that Jesus taught.

Let's leave Holy Joe behind for a moment and move on to even more pornographic pastures. You see, World Net Daily's subscription magazine, The Whistleblower, is all about sex this month. And how sex is bad. And how in the 1950s nobody ever had sex outside of wedlock but now everybody does.

Whistleblower documents with devastating clarity exactly how America was transformed in five decades from the "Leave it to Beaver" innocence of the 1950s to today's wanton, "anything-goes" sexual anarchy:

Am I the only one who finds it funny that World Net Daily chose a television program called "Leave it to Beaver" to represent sexual purity? They might have been better off using that title as an argument against gay marriage.

First, there's the multi-billion-dollar pornography industry, which through the Internet is magically being transported into previously unreachable market territory – namely, the sanctity of millions of middle-class homes. There are 4.2 million pornographic websites – that's 12 percent of all websites in the world, totaling 372 million pornographic pages. Pornographic search engine requests total 68 million per day.

Given how many people find the Dark Window by actively searching for things like "Ann Coulter nude" or "Debbie Daniel spreads" or "Vox Day gardening in a pink thong," I've got to wonder just how innocent those sanctified middle-class homes really are.

And when it comes to passing blame for sin, you know what's coming next.

Then there is the youthful epidemic of "hooking up" – widespread, casual recreational sex, often with multiple partners. Turbo-charged by President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky's high-profile example – "if it's OK for the president, it must be OK for me" – middle and high school children are experimenting with sex in the bathroom stalls at school, behind the gym, and in the back of the school bus. More children, at earlier ages, are engaging in sexual acts than ever before.

That's right! It's all Clinton's fault! And it always will be!

Welcome to the new reality of loving Christian Wing Nut values. Just don't get on Farah's bad side or, you know, you're probably going to wind up in hell.

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Monday, November 08, 2004

Debbie Daniel And The Exit Polls Of Doom

It's no secret that everybody's trying to figure out exactly what happened during last Tuesday's election. Fortunately, we have our wise-beyond-years dear sweet precious Debbie Daniel to explain it to us.

Thanksgiving came early this year. I'm ready for a big turkey dinner . . . a feast . . . a celebration! Americans prayed and God answered . . . just like He always does.

Hooray for God!

This 2004 election was a referendum on the decency and morals of the American people. Christianity was being tested and there was a point where we had to let go and let God take control.

Mainly because Christianity was up the whole night before the election cramming for the test.

I experienced this first hand on Election Day when I realized there was not a single thing I could do to ward off the misinformation we were getting from the network media exit polls.

Kind of interesting that none of the network media was actually mentioning said exit polls.

They were absolutely manifesting situations that weren't happening, in hopes that we would buy into their propaganda and it would possibly make a difference in the outcome of the election.

Either Debbie was using her special powers to see a couple of hours into the future or Matt Drudge is now the network media. Either way, God help us.

I am absolutely convinced this is the case, but I couldn't prove it.

Have you ever heard a better Wing Nut slogan?

The exit polls were so far-fetched that I couldn't imagine what was going on. The media was determined to bring down the President and we could do nothing.

The frustration and helplessness I felt had just about consumed me with anger when I heard a still small voice speaking to me from a place deep in my heart saying, "Let go of it, Debbie . . . this is now in God's hands. There's nothing you can do."

That voice, of course, belonged to Herb – one of the other personalities fortunate enough to share Debbie's mind.


Debbie

Have we not seen a miracle?

Too bad Cecil B. DeMille wasn't around to make a movie about this miracle too. I can see it now: Charlton Heston (playing George W. of course) parts the red exit polls and escapes the evil clutches of Dan Rather (played by Yul Brenner in a bad wig). Edward G. Robinson reprises his role as Herb, the voice in Debbie's head.


Herb

We watched the network media "lose" to George Bush. It was as great a victory as the final countdown against Mr. Kerry. The look on their faces was a treasure to behold.

Maybe I'm missing something here but I don't remember any of the network media people talking about exit polls.

Unless I'm terribly mistaken, this will have a much more far-lasting effect than anyone can imagine. The network media's efforts were short of criminal in trying to sway public opinion with total untruths.

Short of criminal indeed.

I hope in the days ahead they will pay a heavy price for what was done.

You know, reporting the election results and stuff after the polls had closed.

And the media certainly gave no credence to the "prayer warriors" of this great land.

And they have the nerve to call themselves objective!

When people started praying . . . God listened . . . and He answered. That gave us a tremendous edge in this election, and you can't discount the power of prayer.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. No discounting allowed. The power of prayer is expensive. How else do you expect people like Benny Hinn and Paul Crouch to get so rich?

The heartland bled for Bush and the numbers show it. Power to the people . . . they've spoken again. Is the network media listening?

Is a trained psychiatrist?

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Friday, November 05, 2004

Glamour Shot Swank Shares His Wisdom

It should probably come as no surprise that our old friend Joseph Swank is out there crowing about the election and how it was a victory for God Himself. It should probably also come as no surprise that he's decided that John Kerry's loss has a great deal to do with the woman the Right loves to hate the most: Hillary.

His latest work of genius is entitled Dems Say 'Hillary For Pres'?? They Just Don't Get It!!

This morning’s NEW YORK TIMES’ Raymond Hernandez headlines his piece with "For the Moment, Mrs. Clinton Looks Like the Candidate to Beat."

Beat what? Beat the air? No doubt.


I don't even know what the hell that's supposed to mean, Joe.

If Hillary were posited, she’s another Kerry, like duh?

I'm beginning to think old Glamour Shot Swank's been spending too much time in the photo booth and not enough learning the English language.


Glamour Shot Swank

She’s a clone of Kerry and Edwards and Kennedy+put together.

Except that Swank will turn around tomorrow and say that she's not at all like them because she's so much more evil. It's amazing how these morons can say anything at all, whether it has any basis in reality, and nobody challenges them.

She’s a reminder of the Bill Clinton who did absolutely nothing for Kerry in the final days of the Dem campaign.

You know, the guy who'd just had heart surgery...

There was Diane Sawyer stroking Billy boy like a mamma patting her little boy. It was the interview of laughs and smiles and kiss-ups major. Diane asked about his heart surgery. How was he feeling now? She hoped he wasn’t pushing it with all the speeches he was delivering. And yadayadayada and more of same for a whole hour. It was enough to give stomach cramps.

Uh huh. Anybody in the media who'd show respect to a former President (especially one who'd just had heart surgery) is a fraud. These are the Christian Values Swank keeps talking about. Keep that in mind.

Yet with all that adulation, Billy boy did absolutely nothing for Kerry and Team. Do the Dems think that Billy boy standing alongside Hillary in four years is going to do anything for the Dems but damn them to oblivion?

So Kerry lost because Clinton did nothing. And Hillary will likewise lose because Clinton will do something. Glamour Shot is arguing two completely opposite points in one paragraph.

Dems needs to find a Bush clone. Surely there must be a Bush clone in their vast display. Now come now. Not all Dems are stupid. So let the Dems fish around for a Bushite to put up — one with biblical morals and principles and a lifestyle in keeping with the outlandish voting block that put GWB back in the Oval Office.

Looks like somebody found a crack pipe while wandering through the mall.

If the Dems can’t scour around for that kind of candidate, they may as well hang up their hearts on a willow tree for there’s nothing left.

If we're reduced to finding a candidate like George W. then there really is nothing left.

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Jesus Christ Slam Dunks The Left!

That's Jerry Falwell's take on the election anyway. He's got a new piece out entitled The Left Threw Its Best Punch ... and Failed.

Tuesday’s re-election of President George W. Bush and the election of a number of new conservative lawmakers across the nation astonished liberal newsmen, pundits and handlers who, hours earlier, had believed allegedly rigged exit polls and were confidently whispering that a new mandate was going to sweep the nation.

Kind of like those millions of people who believed allegedly moronic snake oil salesmen and confidently voted to keep things exactly as they are.

And speaking of allegations, this might be a good time to make something clear. I don't write these things because I'm anti-Christian. If you would like to know the truth, I even went to graduate seminary. Most members of my family (whom I love very much) live in red states and most of them are Christians. My dad and grandfather are even pastors.

My point in saying all this is that we at the Dark Window are not here to mock anybody's faith or to blame this election on 50 million "dumb people" out there in the dark middle of our continent. We actually find it somewhat distressing (and entirely counterproductive) that so many on the Left are doing this.

What we are saying is that (a) we have to begin to find ways to make inroads with those people who voted the way they did and (b) we also have to point out the idiocy of those who would use faith as a weapon to bludgeon their political opponents.

I know I've said this a thousand times but I'll say it again: Many of those church-going people in the middle of the country would be very well served by Left Wing ideals. We need to start sharing a positive (and clear) message with them rather than simply defining ourselves by who we aren't. This is certainly not an impossible challenge. Of course it's also not an easy one.

But back to Jerry.

So what happened? After more than 25 years since I formed the Moral Majority and began mobilizing evangelicals to participate in the political process, I actually realized the fruit of my labors nationwide as Macel and I watched the election returns into the early hours of Wednesday.

Kind of a coincidence. I recognized a genuine fruit as I read this column.

I could not hold back the tears of joy.

While Macel couldn't stop crying about the fact that her husband has man-breasts.


Dark Window Exclusive: Jerry can't hold back on the sensual dance moves during his election celebration.

Hour by hour, we observed a "slam dunk" as the Church of Jesus Christ made the difference in initiating the return of this nation to moral sanity and the Judeo-Christian ethic.

We talked about this yesterday here at the Dark Window but it bears repeating. Think about how idiotic that statement is. Jerry's telling us that by re-electing the same President and keeping the same party in control of Congress we've initiated some sort of drastic change. He also not-so-subtly implies that this "change" will cause our nation to become an idyllic Godly paradise.

The so-called political experts had forgotten to count a significant voting bloc, namely the millions of evangelical voters who went to the polls in droves to “vote Christian.”

And by "vote Christian," Jerry is talking about gays and guns. But when you think about it, why else did Christ bother to come to earth than for those two reasons?

I’m not suggesting that we elected a bunch of fire-and-brimstone evangelists to office this week, but Christians collectively determined which candidates most closely held ideals that parallel our own biblically-based moral values and we went to the polls to support those candidates.

I'm not going to suggest that one party has any monopoly on moral values. The Left certainly doesn't. But by that same token, the Right obviously doesn't either. Yet millions of people believe the Right Wing noise machine shrieking forth just that idea day after day.

Want something to do? Start figuring out ways to counteract that message.

Thousands of pastors were stirring their congregations to distinguish the issues, know the combatants and be geared up to vote.

I don't even want to mock that because by doing so I might lessen its impact. It's terrifying but let it sink in.

We have to acknowledge that millions of people out there went to church last Sunday and received Christian Coalition voter guides that showed which candidates stood where on a few very targeted Right Wing issues. That's a place where we had no voice at all.

We should all feel a sense of accomplishment and thankfulness to God for blessing our efforts. We must never forget that people of faith in this country, joined by political and fiscal conservatives, successfully withstood Hollywood, Springsteen, Affleck, Baldwin, the Dixie Chicks (now called the French Hens by some), billionaire George Soros and his ilk, all the 527s, most of the national print and broadcast media, the gays and lesbians, the abortionists, the entire liberal establishment... and about $2 billion of hate-inspired media and campaign expenditures.

The irony we're dealing with here is extreme. We've come to a point where Jerry Falwell (the guy who blamed the ACLU for 9/11) can cast his opponents as hate-inspired evil-doers with complete impunity.

The left threw its best punch and George Bush and social conservatism are alive and well. To God be all the glory!

Via Jerry and Pat, of course!

“If my people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land” (II Chronicles 7:14).

Again and again we hear this refrain. Our nation has repented and made a great change by keeping the same people in office. Unfortunately, nobody seems to be countering this asinine argument.

That verse is more powerful than any exit poll. And it will sustain us against any rising political tide that seeks to counter biblical morality, if we remain true to that verse’s unique guidelines.

The groundwork is already being laid. Jerry and friends have already begun to instruct their flocks that any political movement which questions the leadership of Mr. Bush is questioning the Bible itself. This is a fight we have to join now because the Right isn't wasting any time.

Now that we have acted, we cannot rest for long.

Let us commit to continuing Tuesday’s mandate by keeping our nation, our leaders and the peace of Jerusalem at the forefront of our prayers and efforts.

Tomorrow is now, readers. If you don't do something, nobody will.


Update: Steve M. (no known relation to me) over at No More Mister Nice Blog has a great take on the kinds of Christian values the Wing Nuts keep espousing. Go check it out.

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Thursday, November 04, 2004

Thrilling Days of Yesteryear

We'd like to offer our warmest congratulations to our friend Ivan Shreve (you may know him from the Dark Window or World o'Crap comment sections) who runs one of the coolest sites anywhere on the web - a site that is celebrating its one-year anniversary today. It's called Thrilling Days of Yesteryear and offers a delightful daily meditation on the magic and wonder of old Hollywood films and old-time radio. If you have any interest at all in those things, you'll find the site invaluable. We very much like Ivan and are pretty certain you will too. He always has a kind word and an infectious optimism and he knows more about old-time radio and film than any human being has a right to know. Please stop by and wish him well.

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Asking Why

I've been asked several times since I started this blog why I spend so much time and energy writing about such seemingly fringe characters. Well, the answer is simple. They're not nearly as far to the fringe as you probably think. Hopefully Tuesday's election will serve as a good wake-up call.

Just check out what Hal Lindsey had to say about Bush's victory:

In my opinion, this whole drama shows that God is still on the throne and that He has a further purpose for the United States in these last days’ events.

Where else would God be, Hal? In the bathroom? At the mall?

If you know the paradoxical nature of Lindsey's political/eschatological teachings concering the United States, you know that what he believes to be God's "further purpose for the United States in these last days" is not a pretty thing.

The point I'm trying to make is that people like Hal Lindsey have a vast influence out there in the hinterland, an influence that we on the coasts may never notice. But it's certainly there and, unfortunately, it's a very visceral influence.

It is definitely grace for America and a chance to repent and turn back to the faith of our Fathers who sacrificed to establish this unique experiment in freedom and Judeo-Christian values that are woven into our foundation documents.

Stop and think about that argument for a moment. Repent means to change direction completely. Repent means to recognize one's faults and then purpose to change them. If you repent, you change your mind and your way of life. For far too long, we've allowed the Right to say whatever they want with complete impunity, without challenging idiotic statements like the one above. Do you realize how many people voted for George W. Bush because they wanted change? That's how far we've let them go.

You probably think Hal's a nut. I agree. But don't make the mistake of thinking he's a marginal character. Hal Lindsey (and Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell) won this election for Mr. Bush. It was religious leaders exactly like them who managed to energize such a large portion of our population to vote and vote heavily for "traditional values."

Dr. James Dobson is another good example of this. Today, he had this to say about the election:

This election is a resounding victory in the battle for American families. We applaud the re-election of President Bush, who has shown himself a true champion for the family and of traditional values.

Herein lies the problem. The Right has so long been allowed to dominate the cultural debate that people whose lives would actually be helped by Democratic policies (whether workers or the uninsured or whoever) are voting against their own self-interests because of what they believe to be the interests of God Himself.

We further celebrate the overwhelming successes of pro-family candidates in other races, and in the 11 states that passed amendments to their constitutions protecting traditional marriage. The victorious difference was made by 'values voters,' who have sent the clear message that morality in America is alive and well.

They sent a clear message alright, although not that one. And it's a message we'd better start paying attention to. Fast.

It's precisely because the Left ignored that message that it was so devastated during this election. People all across the fruited plain were energized by the idea that they were casting a vote for good and against evil. We on the Left have so allowed the opposition to frame and define us (without ever defining ourselves) that vast swaths of this country now equate liberalism with evil itself. Until we begin to counter that, we'll never compete.

If you want to know just what the hell I'm talking about, consider this: Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate in the nation. John Kerry's gay marriage Massachusetts. That's how much the other side owns this debate.

The passage of 11 marriage amendments, combined with similar measures passed thus far by six other states, is the result of a tremendous grass-roots effort that has sprung up across the country. As we continue the call for an amendment to the U.S. Constitution, this election's victories once again demonstrate that American voters believe in traditional marriage.

As these words have hopefully made clear, we ignore the Wing Nuts at our own peril.

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Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Where Now?

It's kind of like waking up to a four-year collective hangover, vaguely remembering that something bad happened last night, and then looking over to see Ann Coulter sleeping peacefully next to you.

WHAAAAAAA!!!! How'd she get there??? I hope I didn't...

Okay, okay, put down the baseball bat and try to think this through reasonably.

So what happens now? Obviously, many things are going to change (just as many things we hoped would change won't). The optimism and sense of purpose that has graced the left wing blogs these past few months is rapidly dissipating. Fortunately, we at the Dark Window never had either of those qualities to begin with.

Still, we have many lessons to learn and many problems to analyze before we can move on. What happened to bring us to this point? Where are we as a nation and where can we realistically go? How do we begin to bridge this vast social gap dividing our country? Only once we understand a defeat can we mitigate its effects and (hopefully) prevent its recurrence.

In the meantime, we here at the Dark Window will continue to mock those we feel deserve mocking. Rather than them going away, we kind of suspect they'll come scurrying out of the woodwork and will probably even multiply. And as long as they do, we'll be here to smack them back down.

We're not going anywhere. We won't disappear into the night. We love this country even more than we love France and if there's one thing we believe in, it's that we must dedicate ourselves to leaving it a better place. Even when this isn't easy. Especially when it isn't fun.

Take heart. This hangover isn't eternal.

Just don't mention the Ann Coulter thing to anybody...

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Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Today Is Your Day

No mocking today (there will be plenty of time for that tomorrow - no matter the outcome). Instead, I'd like to point you to a blog entry by my friend Steve over at It Looks Like This. He's written a piece entitled Why I'm in Reno, a very moving piece that, to me, splendidly describes just where we find ourselves today.

Today is your day. Today is our day. Let's make a difference.

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Monday, November 01, 2004

The Poker Face Of George W. Bush

Thanks to reader SocraticSilence, our attention was drawn to a fine article about our fearless President over at NewsMax. It's called The Poker Game: Bush vs. Kerry on 9/11 and it's by Joan Marie Nagy.

Imagine, if you will, that in the world of international power and intrigue a high-stakes poker game is being played. The stakes: Western civilization. The game: 9/11.

As soon as you look over at the guy wearing the wire and scowling, though, you know this is no ordinary game of Texas Stud.

The cards are dealt. Nines and aces are wild. The game begins when war is unofficially declared.

When President Bush learned of the Sept. 11 attacks, what the world saw was the classic poker face, the non-reaction reaction. What Bush understood, in that split second, was that not only would the entire world be watching his reaction, so, too, would the next wave of terrorists.

Yep. That's exactly what I gathered by watching his face. Split-second recognition of complex issues and an instant understanding that he'd only defeat the terrorists by sitting in a small chair with a children's book in his hands.


The "non-reaction reaction"

The terrorists would study his reaction and gather valuable information on how he would play his next hand. His reaction would reveal to them the sum of his mettle as a man and the tenacity of his exploits as their future opponent.

And his reaction had them quaking in their sandals, ladies and gentlemen. How could they have possibly known he'd keep reading that book?

With a steely determination the president’s expressionless gaze moved across the room and seemed to look out beyond the walls and into the future.

'I wonder what's for dinner tonight,' he thought bravely. 'I wonder if this means I have to eat with Dick and Karl again.'

What cards was Bush holding close to his vest?

I think that was Andrew Card, telling the President what had happened. Wise of him to ignore it.

Did he have three of a kind, a straight, or a royal flush? Who could tell?

Certainly not the President.

Bush’s expression was unreadable, his demeanor calm, his mind calculating.

His reading skills at a grade-school level.

The terrorists watching must have been disappointed with the cool, composed and measured response.

If by cool, composed and measured response, you mean no response, then yes. They must have been.

Bush gave the terrorists nothing that day.

No kidding, huh.

Sen. John Kerry, a power wannabe, not even in the game, eagerly reveals how he would have played his hand. The elite French appeaser quickly lays all his cards on the table with childlike enthusiasm in an effort to prove that he is smarter than his opponent. He criticized Bush for sitting still and continuing his agenda.

Let's just be clear about something. Bush's agenda was to read My Pet Goat with schoolchildren.

Kerry’s strategy: Had he been in the game he would have quickly jumped up, explained to the “kids” in the room that he had important business to attend to and rushed off as the big and important person he was, or as he perceives himself to be.

Yes, nothing big and important about being President of the United States.

In doing so, he would have undeniably confirmed himself to be of French descent, inadvertently revealing himself to be a reactionary, willing to act before being in command of all the facts, easily read and, even more important, easily led – in essence, a puppet.

Interesting logic. Immediately trying to ascertain what has happened and deciding what to do makes one French and a puppet. Sitting and waiting for one's handlers makes one a steely man of decisive power.

Great truths are often revealed in small arenas. In this high-stakes poker game, where our lives are in the balance, we can choose to have our hand played with the caginess of a panther or the weakness of a puppet.

Or, in the case of NewsMax, with the nuttiness of a walnut tree.

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The Liberal Oasis

I'd like to take a moment to point you to an excellent resource which you may not yet be using. It's called The Liberal Oasis and is something you should find quite helpful during the next couple of crazy election-filled days. The Liberal Oasis is an information center of sorts and does a fantastic job of highlighting what's going on in the political world and then sending you to various blogs to find out more. If it's not in your bookmarks, it should be.

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