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Wednesday, October 06, 2004

A Vote For Kerry Is A Vote For The Draft

Whether you're talking about last night's Vice Presidential debate or the dive bar down the street, there's one topic on everybody's lips: What the hell is going to happen with American involvement in Iraq? Well, not surprisingly, our good friend Joseph Farah has an entirely new take on the issue with a piece called Like the draft? Vote Kerry.

John Kerry muttered something about President Bush bringing about a backdoor draft through the use of National Guardsmen in Iraq.

Nice choice of words already. I'm picturing Kerry and Farah sitting on red glitter barstools in a greasy diner when John turns to Joe and grumbles about the poor excuse for coleslaw they're eating and oh, by the way, that jerk Bush is planning to bring back the draft.

I've got news for you.

You always do, Joe. You always do. That's why we love World Net Daily so much.

If you want to see the draft reinstated, vote for John Kerry.

To be honest with you, I've always figured the draft would be something Farah would support. Kind of like he'd spin his barstool towards you, leer menacingly for a moment while he finished a French fry, and then mutter, "Damn kids today. 'Bout time somebody taught them some responsibility."

But now I'm putting words in his mouth and since I'm not Fox News, I'd better just let him continue.

"Why do you say that?" you ask.

Because if John Kerry is elected president, there is going to be a mass exodus from the U.S. military services.

Who needs evidence? Not Dick Cheney, not George W. Bush, and certainly not Joseph Farah!

Anyone who can get out will get out.

Uh huh.

Re-enlistment levels will reach all-time lows – at least since the Clinton administration.

That's one of the greatest statements I've ever read. Let me translate for Joe. All-time = 3.5 years.

Nothing would be more demoralizing to U.S. servicemen than a Kerry victory. After all, this is the man who tells them they are fighting "the wrong war at the wrong time." This is the man who has opposed nearly every defense expenditure that has come before him in the last 20 years he has served in the U.S. Senate. This is the man who made a national name for himself by condemning troops on the battlefield in Vietnam as war criminals.

Yet Kerry will not be free to cut and run from Iraq as many of his supporters hope. He will have to play tough – at least for awhile.

This is a little confusing to me. According to Joe, everybody (including his supporters) thinks Kerry will be weak and "cut and run" from Iraq but in reality, he will do the opposite. Does this mean the U.S. servicemen (Farah's term) would rather he didn't play it tough? Or is Farah saying that the loyalty of our soldiers lies not with protecting their country but with a particular political leader? Maybe I'm a little slow here but that seems to come awfully close to maligning our troops.

Listen very carefully to what he's saying. Our troops do not support our country or our way of life. They support a Republican President and will leave if he's not reelected.

You tell me how he's going to do that with military men leaving the first chance they get?

That's right. He will be forced to push for conscription.

Because in Wing Nut Land, there's only one thing to do once you make a ridiculous assertion. Make an even more ridiculous assertion based on the first. I'm a little surprised Farah didn't go on to say that our nation would undergo a new sexual revolution after being torn apart by domestic strife caused by John Kerry's draft.

So what would Kerry do? Could he afford to surrender in the face of massive defections by the troops? Would he forbid soldiers from leaving when their time was up? Would he force troops to stay on against their will?

Hmmmmm...Remember THIS, Joe?

Now comes the part of the article I enjoyed most. Farah starts up with the compulsive gambling.

I will bet you that better than 90 percent of U.S. troops oppose Kerry. I will bet you they tell jokes about him during quiet times in the barracks in Iraq. I will bet you that he is disliked by soldiers in the field as much as he was by those still on the field in Vietnam in 1971.

Does our betting friend have any evidence for this 90% number? Evidently not.

Joseph Farah: Knows When To Hold 'Em

They will be leaving as soon as they can in the event of a Kerry victory. There will be no stopping them. It will create something of a national emergency – a crisis.

Right. Certainly no sense of duty or honor would stop them because they're all Right Wing opportunists who care more about politics than our national security and way of life. That's what Farah's telling us.

And John Kerry, with the support of his party in Congress, will do the only thing he can do – reinstitute the draft.

Is Joseph predicting a Democratic takeover of both House and Senate?

So, once again, the political conventional wisdom is all wrong.

Or Farah is. There's always the tiny outside possibility of that.

There is little or no threat of the draft being reinstituted in a second Bush administration. But I would give you better than even odds on it if Kerry wins.

Remember where you heard it.

Don't worry, Joe. I promise I will!

Unfortunately, I'm guessing this didn't help my chances of getting my own World Net Daily column, though.


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