Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com The Dark Window: Master Lucom Mails It In

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Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Master Lucom Mails It In

The Dark Window's favorite Wing Nut has a new column out and it's a short one. Well, his portion of it is anyway. It seems that Wilson Lucom is mad about Cuba this week and wrote about 1/3 of a column comparing the wages there with the wages in the United States. After comparing average daily, weekly, and monthly wages between the two nations, he wrote:

The Cuban working person’s human rights are grossly violated, but no one talks about these violations.

One begins to wonder if Lucom's been living under a rock. Of course that might explain a lot.

It is time the world and its media started taking notice and talking about the huge differences to the working person between living under capitalism and living under socialism.

Ah, that's our Lucom, railing against the media for not dedicating the nightly newscasts to the benefits of capitalism.

Cuba is only 90 miles from the United States and could enjoy almost similar wages, but the egomaniac Castro, for his own self-aggrandizement, has kept 11 million Cuban people in virtual poverty for 30 years. He was not elected by popular vote;

Not elected by popular vote? Hmmmmm...

Fortunately, Lucom has a solution to the economic plight of the Cuban worker. A really good solution. Talking about Castro, he says:

he should now hold free elections with a socialist candidate (not Castro) and a capitalist candidate and let the people decide which system they wanted to work for and live under.

The Dark Window actually thinks that's a splendid idea. And as soon as Castro agrees to it, we're going to ask President Bush (also "not elected by popular vote") to hold free elections with a human being (not himself) and a dancing robot and let the people decide which system they wanted to work for and live under.

And I've got to be honest...we at the Dark Window are kind of leaning towards the dancing robot.

Wilson C. Lucom, A Man With A Plan

After his brilliant plan to save Cuba's economy, Lucom cuts out early and finishes his column by reprinting an article from Investor's Business Daily that he says "best sums up the comparison." And so the lion's share of Lucom's latest masterpiece, actually a column by W. Michael Cox, talks about the idea that because Cubans don't have good capitalist incentives (they have "perverse socialist incentives" instead), they unfortunately spend much of their time involved in things like becoming excellent singers, dancers, or musicians.

In short, they've become connoisseurs of leisure – and they've done it despite the fact that Cuba's state-run economy doesn't provide the kind of recreational cornucopia found in America.

There are no multiplex movie theaters, amusement parks or shopping malls. Cubans indulge in what's available – music, dance, art, sports and games, becoming quite good at them.

I'm certainly not here to defend Cuba's economy by any stretch of the imagination but I find it so fascinating that the things the Wing Nuts hold most dear are the giant corporate things we're supposed to spend money on. The official religion of the Right may tell them that we're just passing through this world but their unofficial one leads them to put so much of their effort into promoting the godliness of capitalism and short-term gratification through massive spending, corporate blitz marketing and advertising, and tremendous accumulation of wealth.

A rich variety of entertainment and activities compete for Americans' work time – movies, sports, concerts, television, video games, hobbies, shopping and so much more. Is there any wonder why few Americans have learned to sing, dance or strum a guitar as well as the Cubans?

Yeah, who needs the arts when you've got television, video games and shopping? Besides, the arts are just for liberals and Euro-sissies anyway.

Some Americans might regard singing and dancing through life as preferable to the workaday world of rush projects and bulging e-mailboxes.

Yes, but only traitorous anti-God wannabe Frenchmen. True patriots realize that the meaning of life is only found in consumption and non-stop work.

They should remember that Cubans endure harsh living standards, a trade-off few Americans would make for added free time.

Take that, you stupid Frenchies! Free time sucks! USA! USA! USA!

Now get out to the mall, you Wing Nuts, and praise Jesus and George W. Bush by spending some money!

Thus concludes another excellent Lucom column, this time with 66% less Lucom.


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