Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com The Dark Window: An Unexpected Trip To Germany And Three Loonies At Home

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Thursday, August 26, 2004

An Unexpected Trip To Germany And Three Loonies At Home

As you may already have heard, Seb over at Sadly, No! had to leave his secret German bunker unexpectedly to return to Canada for a funeral. To try to help out, I've posted my main entry for today over at his blog. It explores an entirely different kind of t-shirt than the ones we usually make fun of here at the Dark Window and I invite you to go have a look.

But first, since we're bi-continental (i.e. France worshippers) here at the Dark Window, we're also bringing you three very special Wing Nuts we found right here in the good old U.S. of A.

Wing Nut #1 is a happy fellow named Gary Schneider who's written a new column about the tyranny of gay marriage. He starts off with this heart-warming story:

Years ago, during my days in college I was told a true story of a young man in his late teens who was attending party with his girlfriend of some years.

Notice that Gary wasn't there himself. As you read the rest of his piece, you may start to understand why he doesn't spend a lot of time at parties. I happen to think it's because nobody wants to invite him.

Typical of most parties with alcohol, loud music and dancing, the two drifted throughout the scene becoming engaged in separate activities that night, throwing each other those periodic glances that couples do to check up on the other. As the hours passed the young man seemed to disappear from sight, prompting a search of the party premises by his concerned better half.

How do you "seem to disappear from sight?"

She scanned the halls and rooms of the house only to discover a closed door behind which were the sounds of some unknown activity. Curious, she opened the door to a darkened room that was lit only by the moons of two unsuspecting souls. One of the moons was very familiar to her, the other was not.

Uh...I don't really even know what that means. Gary seems to have some strange ideas about what transpires behind all those closed doors in life.

Her boyfriend, recognizing the glaring silhouette in the doorway, promptly arose in all his glory and desperately protested: “Its not what you think!”...But alas it was. It is my understanding that this is the tireless mantra he maintains to this day. Apparently for some, hope remains eternal that disobliging truth, no matter how obviously exposed, can be successfully denied or sufficiently obfuscated if done so with unscrupulous persistence. This young man was surely a Liberal.

Yes, surely.

Gary goes on to talk about evil Senator Christopher Dodd and how he's just like that moonish young man because he opposes the Federal Marriage Amendment. The column then ends with a reminder of the tyranny we now face.

When objectively considering the multitude of legal actions being progressed by the gay lobby and their allies (read ACLU, etc.) that persistently seek to undermine the will of the people and subjugate the rights of others in the name of “tolerance” or civil rights, one can only come to the conclusion that we are a nation and a people on the precipice of tyranny.

This is undoubtedly true. None of us will truly be free if gays are allowed to marry one another. Thank heavens Gary's willing to stand up for the little people.

Next up we have Wing Nut #2, Nancy Salvato. She's written a warm bit of nostalgia entitled Back To School Blues. In this dreamy look back at the glory days of yesteryear, Nancy tells us how sad she is that our schools have become nothing more than factories to produce little socialists.

As a child of the 70’s, I used to love back to school shopping. My mom and I would go to the mall for two or three new outfits, school shoes and gym shoes. We’d then go to Turn Style or Venture to buy the essential pens and pencils, ruler, notebook paper and any other necessities for that grade. Those days are gone.

As a child of the 70's myself, I used to love Evel Knievel. I would drape a bath towel around my neck to make a cape and do crazy stunts in the backyard. Unfortunately, those days are also gone.

Mainly because I no longer have a backyard.

For many kids, there is shock and disappointment when their new teacher collects all of the handpicked supplies and puts them into a group box to be shared. For others, the PTA purchases the school supplies in bulk and each child is issued the same materials. Where is the excitement in that?

Yes, whatever happened to that sense of capitalistic triumph when little Susie could stand up during class and shout, "All mine! This Trapper Keeper is my handpicked supply alone!"

Kids don’t buy clothes for “school” and clothes for “after school” anymore. Dress codes are ignored or the schools have opted for uniforms to deal with the inappropriate attire. The special time that occurs between a parent and a child during the “rites of passage” hasn’t been factored into the equation and the element of fun in picking out the school supplies has been eliminated.

Wait, wouldn't school uniforms mean that kids still have clothes for "school" and clothes for "after school?" And if Nancy's so dead set on her kids changing clothes all the time, why doesn't she just buy them extra outfits?

Because then she couldn't write her loony columns, I guess.

Finally, we are visited by Wing Nut #3, our old friend Jan Ireland. You may remember Jan from last week when she complained about Teresa Heinz Kerry being an imperious bitch. Today Jan's mad because the stupid liberals are calling Alan Keyes a "carpetbagger." In fact, she got mad enough to prove that this whole idea is absolute nonsense.

Obama’s supporters are already shouting “carpetbagger” because Keyes currently lives in Maryland. But that’s a charge that just won’t stick.

The “carepetbagger” label comes from Keyes’s criticism of Hillary Clinton, who in 2000 chose New York for her Senate run – a place she had never lived, and in which she had shown little interest.


Unlike Principled Alan who grew up in Illinois and has spent years working tirelessly to find solutions to its unique problems. Except that he didn't and hasn't, of course.

Keyes told Fox News then, “I deeply resent the destruction of federalism represented by Hillary Clinton’s willingness to go into a state she doesn’t even live in and pretend to represent people there, so I certainly wouldn’t imitate it.”

Just wait until you see how Jan gets around this one.

Keyes recognized Mrs. Clinton’s crass desire for a power base for future campaigns. She stepped on other candidates, who had been waiting nicely in the Democrat line, for her own political plans. But Alan Keyes has done nothing like that.

Because Alan Keyes is a lovely Christian man who only wants to do good and Hillary is an evil bitch, it can't be carpetbagging, right?

Keyes and his family were approached by the people of Illinois. On abortion, Obama is even more liberal than the two current Johns running for president on the Democrat ticket. Jill Stanek, new columnist for World Net Daily, covered the Keyes speech for the Illinois Leader (See “Obama’s Waterloo – Live Aborted Babies?”).

Keyes explained, “What finally caught my eye, however, what finally arrested my attention and forced me to consider whether I not only have the opportunity to oppose [Obama], but the obligation, was when I learned that he had actually, in April 2002, apparently cast a vote that would continue to allow live birth abortions in the State of Illinois.”


In other words, Keyes isn't a hypocrite because he believes the same things as Jan does.

Please tune in again tomorrow when we'll do pretty much the same thing we do every day here at the Dark Window...make fun of people.

But then really, what else would you expect from a liberal?

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