Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com The Dark Window: Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back Into Your Wardrobe

Prepare to be horrified...

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back Into Your Wardrobe

For those of you who are new to the Dark Window, I would like to introduce a semi-regular feature here - one that we haven't done in a while. Every so often the Dark Window takes a look at cutting-edge End Times witnessing tools for Christians of the Wing Nut variety. Please note that we are not slamming Christians. Just those who would exploit Christianity for various acts of Wing Nuttery and profit. Okay, enough with the disclaimer.

Today we're going to examine some t-shirts made by our friends at Christian Outfitters. If you haven't heard of Christian Outfitters before, well, they're kind of like the Coors Light of Right Wing Christianity. Here are some of their finest offerings. And in case you missed the runway shows, this is what all the most fashionable Wing Nuts are wearing this season.

And racist by the grace of God.

Looks like maybe the Saviour should have washed his hands first, though.

That one's kind of hard to read. The text says: "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin againist Thee." Unseen text on the back reads: "But since that didn't work, I swallowed my cross."

Save yourself some time and effort. Get six poor kids from Indonesia to pray for you instead.

But not feeling so well!

No explanation really necessary on that one, I think.

I don't mean to sound negative but does that look like somebody you'd want to let in?

Because he's currently vacationing in the south of France.

"Hey, ya know...He looked like a furiner. How tha hell was I supposed ta know who he was? This is Texas after all."

Translation: God took my smug ass to heaven and all you get is this lousy used t-shirt.

Hopefully you've been as enlightened by these uplifting designs as I, Dear Readers. If you still want more Wing Nuttism, I point you to a couple of our past installments:

More Fun With Christian T-Shirts
Even More Fun With Christian T-Shirts
Kirk Cameron Shows Us The Way Of The Master

In the meantime, please dress responsibly. And don't forget to tune in next time for another action-packed episode of Adventures In End Times Witnessing!


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