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Prepare to be horrified...
Monday, August 02, 2004
"I have seen the enemy, and it is Skerry."
Our friend Jack Kinsella, Hal Lindsey's junior sidekick and Oracle-In-Training (OIC), watched John Kerry's speech last week and, as you may have guessed, he's not at all happy about it.
John Kerry's acceptance speech for the Democratic nomination for President opened with Kerry delivering a passable military salute to his audience, saying, "My name is John Kerry, and I am reporting for duty."
He then launched into his speech. When it was over, it occurred to me that the phrase, "My name is John Kerry" was the only true statement contained in it. (Sort of. Kerry's grandfather, Fritz Kohn, had his name legally changed to 'Frederick Kerry' in Vienna in 1902)
Something occurred to me after reading Jack's column, too. Namely that Jack considers himself a "ministry" and actually solicits donations from little old ladies to write this stuff. He even seems to bank on the idea that others will find his columns offensive because his donation page features three giant donation icons and this quote:
1 Corinthinans 16:9
"For a great door and effectual is opened unto me, and there are many adversaries"
Yeah, I wonder why.
Anyway, here's an example of Jack using his razor-sharp analytical skills to tell us the real meaning behind part of Kerry's speech:
That returns us to the view of the War on Terror as “primarily an intelligence and law enforcement operation.”
Translated, that means waiting for the terrorists to strike, appointing them legal counsel, sentencing them to American prisons often more luxurious than their homes, and occasionally launching blind retaliatory raids against aspirin factories and empty tents.
I'll simply respond by pointing out the irony of the Bible verse Kinsella puts atop his website: "Hosea 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge..."
Kerry used the phrase “middle class” eight times, while referring to “terror” or “terrorism” only five.
Jack's article used the word "Democrat" five times, while referring to "God" not once. I wonder what these kinds of statistics tell us.
He promised us nationalized health care, protectionism and environmentalism. He vowed to increase funding for the failure known as Head Start, shrink class sizes and increase social spending. He didn't say where he'd get the increased funding from. Another lie.
I'm not entirely certain how that's a lie. Especially since just the night before, John Edwards said this:
And everybody listening here and at home is thinking one thing right now. O.K., how are we going to pay for it, right? Well, let me tell you how we're going to pay for it. And I want to be very clear about this. We are going to keep and protect the tax cuts for 98 percent of Americans, 98 percent. We're going to roll back the tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans. We're going to close corporate loopholes. We're going to cut government contractors and wasteful spending. We can move this country forward without passing the burden to our children and our grandchildren.
Not that I'd ever accuse Jack of having a less-than-stellar grasp of the truth or anything.
Although many have feared terrorists would strike one of this summer’s political conventions, the Democratic Party allowed Jihad TV, a network whose media roster occasionally includes terrorists, into a skybox overlooking the entire Fleet Center.
Wow. I can remember when Al-Jazeera was only a sympathetic voice to the terrorists. Now they're actually planning to blow up the Convention! We should probably invade them after we're done in Iraq. They seem not to have gotten the message when we bombed their office in Baghdad.
From al-Jazeera’s coverage, the terrorists back home were able to see the party’s attack on the War on Terrorism, especially in Jimmy Carter and Al Sharpton’s demagogic remarks.
Those evil-doers in the Middle East should know that "news" has nothing to do with reporting on events of global importance. Can you believe the effrontery of wanting to show American political speeches during an important election cycle? If they had any kind of humanity they'd only show Bill O'Reilly reruns instead. That'd sure show the terrorists back home!
And somehow we've managed to limp along to the grand finale to our OIC's journalistic masterpiece:
I have seen the enemy, and it is Skerry.
Good line. I'm thinking of sending him a donation myself.
Now let me try my own. "I have seen the moron, and it is JackK."
Thank you, thank you. I'll be putting up my own donation icons later today.
Jack Kinsella, OIC