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Friday, August 13, 2004

Fashion: Don't Be Caught Dead Wearing It

It's time to take a trip over to the Rant, home to (if you don't count Yosef) the hottest young conservative writers on the net. It's also where the ever-stylish Ryan Thompson is currently holding court. Let's have a seat because he's about to explain how fashion designers are destroying our morality.

While doing some shopping for college over the last month, I have noticed some disturbing trends in fashion along with the usual attempts to erode morality from our culture. I am not a believer in conspiracy theories, but it’s clear as crystal that the social issues of the day are being driven by fashion designers and the decadence of Hollywood.

Clear as crystal indeed. The Halls of Congress tremble at the power of Jean Paul Gaultier.

So what are examples the attempts to morally erode our society? The yearly decline of fabric on female garments and the feminization of male clothing are a pair of examples to fit my determination.

I, for one, attribute the erosion of our society to the yearly decline of copy editing.

Most of the people who know me have heard my positions on why females are “special” in a moral sense.

I have a feeling that most people who know Ryan find him pretty "special" too.

Part of understanding their “special” traits is having knowledge the sacredness of the female body.

Sacredness of the female body? Is Ryan a closet Wiccan?

Overexposing the female body undermines the “special” factor and most fashions today do this without a second thought.

Because if there's one thing a truly moral nation needs, it's thinking fashion.

This problem falls on the shoulders of both males and females. “Popular” culture dictates to males that we should expect girls to show look like a Barbie doll. Many of my peers have been indoctrinated in this mentality. Girls in turn recognize that most guys want girls who are in my opinion nothing more than sexual exhibitions so they try to be as good as an exhibition as possible. By showing males that their idea of the female beauty is acceptable, girls are reinforcing the flawed mentality.

Wait...I thought Ryan wanted his bitches to look feminine. I'm so confused.

Ryan's article is interrupted at this point by a picture of morality-destroying fashion at its most sinister:



I'm not sure about Paris but that's certainly what all the trendy girls in San Francisco are wearing this summer. Ryan appears to have this one pegged.

Modesty is the best policy. It should be fundamentally understood that beauty based on how much cleavage a girl shows, but it’s based on respecting their “special” status while looking their best. Modesty is the best policy.

No, the Dark Window is fairly confident that cleavage is a better policy. Nothing reinforces that "special" status like cleavage.

And Ryan, buddy, I hate to sound like a broken record but copy editing is also a pretty good policy.

Males should not wear pink.

I sure hope Seb is reading this. I keep trying to tell him that the Miami Vice look isn't working for him but he refuses to listen.

In modern history, the color pink has been reserved for females, and it has fit nicely with their angelic existence. Males did not wear the color pink because of this. If you walk into clothing store today, around half the clothes in the male section are pink.

Around half, eh? I'm beginning to wonder where, exactly, Ryan shops.

The traditionalist that I am is deeply bothered by this trend for two reasons. First, I think that there is a movement afoot to undermine the idea masculinity. Second, more disturbingly, it is a sign of the pop culture’s attempt to erase the “equal but different” philosophy.

Yeah, pop culture is pretty sneaky alright. First it tries to make women look like Barbie dolls. Then it tries to make them and men look exactly alike.

These movements are united the dream of having a society where the sexes lack distinct responsibilities. Once the idea of distinct responsibilities is plundered, the objective of the feminists and militant gays will be achieved. Their movements cannot exist in their true form in a society that recognizes “equal but different” in regards to the roles of males and females.

I think I'm beginning to understand Ryan's idea of women's fashion: lots and lots of aprons.

These are the two clearest methods of the fashion world trying to corrupt our culture. Their attempt may not be obvious to the untrained eye, but for those who observe these trends it is pretty clear what’s going on.

Fortunately, Ryan has such a trained eye. Must be all those pink clothing stores he frequents.

Eliminating the “special” status of females, emasculating male traits, and blurring the role of the sexes are their goals. Remember tradition and stand firm in its defense even when buying clothes. Most importantly, respect yourself and the others around you.

If I really respected myself and those around me I wouldn't be reading articles at the Rant and then sharing them. Please forgive me.


Ryan Thompson, Fashion Provocateur

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