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Prepare to be horrified...
Thursday, July 29, 2004
You Can't Spell Hellishly Good Economy Without Hell
The award-winning writers over at World Net Daily have a new article up called Belief in hell makes economy sizzle. As you may have guessed, Joseph Farah chose to feature it up at the very top of the WND homepage.
For centuries, pastors have preached the concept of hell fire to try to keep believers' behavior in check.
Now, according to a report by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, it's possible belief in a blazing afterlife punishment is the reason some national economies sizzle more than others.
It's also possible that World Net Daily puts the "loon" in "loony."
Using figures from the United Nations Human Development Report 2003 and 1990-1993 World Values Survey, U.S. residents have the world's highest income at $34,320, and 71 percent of citizens say they believe in hell.
I'm having a hard time imagining a more convincing causal link.
Ireland, which ranks fourth in numbers of hell believers at 53 percent, had the second-highest income, at $32,410 per capita.
But then there it is.
But the report also shows the country with the highest percentage of hell believers – Turkey, at 85 percent – had one of the lowest incomes on the list: $5,890.
Do you think this might shed some doubt on the credibility of these bizarre assertions?
Who cares! This is World Net Daily after all! You know, the highly-respected conservative news source that so prominently featured an article about an Iranian woman giving birth to a frog.
So remember...Next time you hear a Wing Nut complaining that the media is too liberal (*cough* Vox), this is the kind of thing he'd prefer instead.
And some countries which have virtually the same amount of believers in flames after death show great disparities in wealth.
From now on, I'm going to start referring to World Net Daily readers as "believers in flames after death."
For instance, France, Hungary and Russia have between 16 and 17 percent of their populations believing in hell, but the typical Parisian's income is about twice that of someone from Budapest, and more than three times that of a Moscow resident.
Yeah, that must just be an anomaly. Everybody knows God hates the French.
While the Federal Reserve report focused on the concept of hell, there was no mention of God in the analysis.
The dumb thing is that there actually was mention of God in the analysis. Well, one of the dumb things.
Tune in next time to see World Net Daily convincingly demonstrate the link between belief in "creation science" and low cholesterol.
In other news: Head on over to Sadly, No! to learn just what it is about six inches that scares Tom DeLay so much.