Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com The Dark Window: The Window Darkens Vaguely

Prepare to be horrified...

Friday, July 30, 2004

The Window Darkens Vaguely

Due to an extremely vague terror warning in effect for the State of California, I decided to pull a Dick Cheney and spend most of my evening blogging at the Dark Window's new German subsidiary. But before I tell you about that, here are the terrifying "specifics" of our impending terrorist attack:

The FBI warned police in New Mexico and California that it received information about possible terrorist activity in their states. However, the warning wasn't specific about particular targets or a method of attack, a federal law enforcement official said Thursday.

So basically they're saying they don't really know anything. This is why I'm hiding in Seb's underground bunker.

The FBI decided to pass along the threat information but warned that it was considered unsubstantiated and uncorroborated, said the official, who spoke only on condition of anonymity.

Let me get this straight...Not only is the threat extremely vague, but it's also unsubstantiated. In other words, sometime between now and the end of my life, something bad could happen in California that may or may not be caused by terrorists.

Thank God for Tom Ridge and the Department of Homeland Security. It makes me feel safe just knowing they're there.

Since we're all traitors here in California anyway, let's see what they're doing over in New Mexico.

Law enforcement agencies were being asked "to be extremely vigilant ... report anything that seems to be peculiar," Olson said.

However, no one was put on heightened alert and the state did not activate its Emergency Operations Center, he said.

Aha. So they're doing nothing too.

The vague warning was distributed to authorities in California, New Mexico and some other Western states that the federal law enforcement official did not identify.

Well, at least we're not the only ones living in vague fear tonight. It's comforting to know that lots of other unnamed people may or may not be living in vague fear of something that may or may not have anything to do with anything on a day that may or may not be today.

Anyway, if you're as terrified about all this as I am, I invite you to come on over to Stuttgart where you can learn about Tom DeLay's new bill that would officially change the name of our country to the United States of McDonald's.


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