Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com The Dark Window: All The Cool Kids Use Bible Armor

Prepare to be horrified...

Friday, July 23, 2004

All The Cool Kids Use Bible Armor

Okay, so it's time for another look at cutting-edge trends in End Times witnessing. Surprisingly, today's tools weren't difficult to find. In fact, they were being advertised right up there at the top of the Dark Window - on a little Blogspot banner that read "Christian T-Shirts: witnessing just got easier."

If Christian t-shirts being advertised at the Dark Window isn't ironic, I don't know what is.

Fortunately, the site didn't disappoint. For although the t-shirts themselves are fairly second-rate, the company offers a fascinating line of what they call Bible Armor.

Bible Armor is a combination of a hard shell lining, a durable cover, and reinforced stitching. It also features rustproof zippers, inside pockets and a tough web carrying handle. Its hard shell construction allows it to accommodate all of today's most popular Bible translations.

In other words, it's a book cover.

The centerpiece of their Armor line is something called Treadplate Bible Armor.

The Treadplate Bible Armor is uniquely different. It takes Bible protection to a cool new level.

And I thought Bible protection was cool before. These guys are seriously pushing the envelope! Let's take a look at their revolutionary design.

It looks like a lunch pail somebody picked up at the Home Depot.

Here's what they say about it:

Wow! This is a cool Bible cover. The Treadplate Bible Armor is pressed aluminum with a sturdy metal handle. Its unique treadplate pattern is actually made up of diamond shaped crosses.

Treadplate? So you're supposed to walk on it?

Uh, yeah. Cool.

They've also got "Hawaiian Red Bible Armor."

You know...In case you're vacationing on Maui and are worried about the natives shooting darts at it.

The embossed rubber spine and original Hawaiian print make this one of the most unique covers you'll find anywhere.

One of the most unique indeed. And guess what? If you buy over $50 worth of Bible Armor, you get a FREE BONUS GIFT!!!

That's right! A God's Property sport wallet!

You know what? I'm just going to say it. It's times like these that I'm very happy to be an agnostic.


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