Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com The Dark Window: Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!

Prepare to be horrified...

Friday, June 25, 2004

Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!

Our friends at World Net Daily are hawking a new book called Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed! It's a delightful storybook designed to warn children (our most precious commodity) about the dangers of liberalism.

The story of two boys who dream about opening a lemonade stand when a strange thing happens...Their dream gets stuck in Liberaland!

Yeah, clever.

"Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed! A Small Lesson in Conservatism" is a wonderful way to teach young children the valuable lessons of conservatism.

Awwww. How cute! Little Suzy's growing up to be just like Ann Coulter!

In simple text, parents and children follow Tommy and Lou on their quest to earn money for a swing set their parents cannot afford. As their dream gets stuck in Liberaland, Tommy and Lou’s lemonade stand is hit with many obstacles.

So Tommy and Lou want to be swingers. It's too bad these young Jack Ryans had the misfortune of being born into poor families.

Liberals keep appearing from behind their lemon tree, taking half of their money in taxes, forbidding them to hang a picture of Jesus atop their stand, and making them give broccoli with each glass sold.

Perhaps this is minor but why on earth would Tommy and Lou be using a picture of Jesus to sell lemonade in the first place? Is that one of the essential lessons of conservatism - that good conservative boys and girls exploit their religion for financial gain?

And where, exactly, are their parents while all these creepy people keep appearing from behind trees? Well, since they're poor, the parents must be liberal too. No wonder they don't care that their kids are being accosted by strange adults.

Law after law instituted by the press-hungry liberals finally results in the liberals taking over Tommy and Lou’s stand and offering sour lemonade at astronomical prices to the customers.

Unfortunately, that's the entire description WND gives us of the book. We don't know if Tommy and Lou get their swing set or even if they're still alive. Their story seems to be somewhat peripheral, though. The important thing is showing that all the liberals are evil.

So remember, kiddies, don't ever fall asleep again because if you do, the liberals hiding under your bed will make you disappear!

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