Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com The Dark Window: The Exciting World of End Times T-Shirt Witnessing

Prepare to be horrified...

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

The Exciting World of End Times T-Shirt Witnessing

As a service to my readers, I'm starting a new feature here at the Dark Window. Each week we'll take an in-depth look at the latest developments in fundamentalist Christian witnessing tools. This will help the godless liberals among you avoid undue surprise and panic upon seeing these tools in public use. Republican and Libertarian readers are encouraged to follow the links and purchase as many of these fine products as desired. The End is Near, my brothers and sisters, so let's not waste any time.

At ChristianShirts.net, you'll find 150+ original Christian and Pro-life designs that have been specifically created for Christians and Pro-life supporters. If you strive to be on the front lines of the culture and challenge people's hearts and minds, then you have come to the right place.

Once you see the shirts, you'll realize that their methods of winning "hearts and minds" bear an uncanny resemblance to the Bushman's.

Here on our first t-shirt we have a scary-looking Jesus wearing a windbreaker and standing on a windswept island in Maine. He points to an empty cross and says "Put on the new man." That's right, liberal readers...You're next!

Can what, exactly? Pollute?

Here's our first example of a corporate logo Jesus shirt (you'll see several more as the series progresses). This particular t-shirt provides instructions on what to do during communion when the wafer just isn't filling you up. And don't forget the Holy Spirit Sauce!

Is it just me or does the little star above GI Jesus look disturbingly like an Abu Ghraib prisoner? And why is GI Jesus fighting for Holland? I thought he was an American!

Awwwww. You're so sweet! I can feel my heart and mind being won already!

Don't worry, fearless witnesser! Your religion has nothing to do with it!

The Dark Window hopes you've found this information edifying and that the next time you see one of these t-shirts, you'll give some thought to its deeper meaning. Tune in next time for another exciting installment of Trends in End Times Witnessing!


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