Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com The Dark Window: Pat Boone Reveals America's True Enemy

Prepare to be horrified...

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Pat Boone Reveals America's True Enemy

Surprise surprise...It turns out that everybody's favorite All-American Boy is a regular reader of NewsMax. Not only that, but Pat Boone was evidently so moved by recent events in Iraq that he felt compelled to write NewsMax editor Chris Ruddy a letter.

Well, good, I thought to myself as I clicked the link. It will be nice to see a Christian perspective for a change. I'll bet he's going to talk to Chris about loving others, demonstrating Godly compassion and service, and Christ's instruction to act as peacemakers.

Dear Chris,

Hasn't anybody got the guts to accuse the worst perpetrator in this whole Abu Ghraib prison debacle - CBS and 60 Minutes II?

Okay. Just so you know, I did not make that up. That's not satire or parody written by me. That really is the beginning of Pat's letter.

And in addition to starting his letter off with such a "bang," I think he picked the right person to address. If anybody has those kinds of guts, it's Chris Ruddy.

Knowing full well that we were walking a tight rope, trying to fight a war, quell disturbances and build a republic for Iraq in the midst of all the terrorist resistance, CBS published these abhorrent pictures knowing they would destroy completely our image and standing in the Muslim world.

Just to show that I stand by CBS in their mission to destroy America, I am publishing the following abhorrent picture, knowing full well it will destroy completely our image and standing in the world of Good Taste:

And what about Osama bin Laden? What about the terrorists? What about America's image with all our allies around the world? And what about America's own self image and confidence in their leaders?

Our image with all our allies around the world? Pat. Listen to me, buddy. You've been spending way too much time in that tanning booth. Step away from the lotion. That's right. Put it down. Now listen carefully.

Are you some kind of a freakin' MORON? [Ahem, sorry]

Bushman has spent the past two-and-a-half years doing everything he could to trash that image, destroying the immense outpouring of goodwill and support (including support for our efforts in Afghanistan) from nearly the entire global community. In fact the entire conservative line up to this point seems to have been "Damn the UN. Damn our allies. We're going this alone." Unfortunately, now that things are such a mess, they have to find somebody to blame. And the fact that they insisted on acting with so little regard to anybody else makes this a bit hard to do.

Actually, no. I lied. They have no problem finding people to blame.

And as a direct result of CBS callous and patently unpatriotic action, America is suffering great loss of prestige around the world, and will for decades.

So offering bogus intelligence to the UN, invading a country under false pretenses, and then, through poor planning, allowing it to degenerate into near anarchy is one thing. But the fact that CBS showed pictures of prison abuse - that's what will cause America to lose prestige for decades. Notice that it's not even the abuse itself. It's the reporting of that abuse. So what Pat's really saying is that our freedom of press will cause us to lose prestige. Especially if that press isn't parroting the conservative line. If you think I'm unfairly putting words in his mouth, read this.

Although old Pat makes some excellent points, he's kind of got me wondering. I mean wouldn't at least some of the blame for the mess we're in fall upon those currently in power? Aren't all three branches of our government under their control?

Well, yes, but the Daily Kos found something interesting about that: "It's extremely difficult to govern when you control all three branches of government," says [House Speaker Dennis] Hastert spokesman John Feehery.

Oh. Ri-ight. Anyway, back to Pat.

For me, CBS has become "the enemy within", and I hope never to watch the network again. I think most Americans ought to reflect on the results of their irresponsible and unpatriotic behavior and perhaps narrow their viewing options by one network. The next time America or Americans suffer at the hands of terrorists, thank CBS.

Pat Boone

That's right, fellow Americans. Next time you see those flag-draped coffins coming back from Iraq (oh, wait, nevermind) you'll know who the real enemy is: Morley Safer.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?