Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com The Dark Window: Hooray for Oakland!

Prepare to be horrified...

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Hooray for Oakland!

Finally some good news on the old homefront:

"Fewer people are being killed in Oakland this year than in San Francisco - a trend not seen for 15 years."

Well, this IS good news. Unless you live in San Francisco. But since those jerks in our neighboring city always get all the credit for being cool and cosmopolitan and sophisticated while we here in Oaktown are generally seen as a bunch of murderous thugs, I'll take it. And if you don't like it I'll pop a cap in your...uh, sorry, lost my train of thought there for a moment.

"Oakland, with 400,000 residents, typically has many more killings than San Francisco, which has almost twice the population. The numbers have not been close since 1990, when each city finished the year with 161 killings."

We've got ourselves a horse race, ladies and gentlemen! And I'm proud to say that I've done my part. I have not murdered a single person here in Oakland this year. Of course if I REALLY had town spirit, I'd go try to kill a San Franciscan to drive their numbers up. But I don't have that much spirit.

Calls from The Dark Window to Mayor Jerry Brown's office here in Oakland for comment went unanswered (perhaps because it's 11:00 PM). Next I tried San Francisco but was told that unless I was planning to marry Ivan, Mayor Newsom probably wouldn't be able to talk to me either.

One more point:

"In both cities, homicides...often involve people with criminal records who have ties to illegal drugs."

I'm just glad Rush Limbaugh doesn't live here! Then it'd really be scary!


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