Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com The Dark Window: The Danger of Live Sex Acts

Prepare to be horrified...

Thursday, May 20, 2004

The Danger of Live Sex Acts

So a bizarre debate erupted on the floor of the California State Senate yesterday after a Bay Area State Senator introduced a bill that would end gun shows at one of San Francisco's largest venues for live music and shows - the legendary Cow Palace. Turns out community leaders are concerned because a federal study found that gun laws have been routinely broken there during past gun shows.

Okay...sounds like a valid issue to me. There's this really big place down the street where lots of people are buying illegal guns. People in our neighborhood are being killed by illegal guns. Perhaps we should take some kind of action.

As you might have expected, Republican response was swift; They immediately decided to link this to what THEY see as the biggest danger facing our cities today: sex.

Through a parliamentary maneuver, Republicans in the Senate sought to amend Speier's bill to also ban the presence of the annual Exotic Erotic Ball, billed as "the world's wildest and sexiest party."

Because, well, you know, if you won't let us have our illegal guns, then we're not going to let you have sex. So there!

"You are voting to keep live sex acts in a state facility going on," Sen. Bill Morrow, R-Oceanside (San Diego County), told his colleagues. Morrow also passed out advertisements for the event, which takes place in October, on the Senate floor.

I have a hunch that several of those colleagues put the adertisements in their back pockets to ogle later. I'd also be curious to know how many State Senator-shaped naked men wearing masks show up at this year's Ball. Uh, on second thought, I'm not that curious.

Senate President Pro Tem John Burton, D-San Francisco, immediately deadpanned this response to the Republican tactics: "I've never heard of any kids on a playground killed by a live sex act."

In related news, we've just gotten word here at The Dark Window that Berlin's famed Love Parade has been canceled this year. American reaction was swift:

"What? Why's everybody looking at me?"


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